My Pursuit of Happiness Pt. 2: Consult the Experts
“Hi, I’m Laura and I am a self-help addict.” Pretend crowd response, “Hi, Laura.” I have an inordinate amount of self-help books. From the “Four Agreements” to “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” I have purchased at least one self-care/help book for each problem I felt I’ve had in my life. The problem is I have not read a single one of them. Not a one. What was I thinking? Honestly, I wasn’t. I thought that just by having these books in my possession that I would somehow retain the information through osmosis and that automatically my life would be instantaneously better. If I bought these books and put them on my shelf I would be OK; that I would be better just because they were in my possession. Well, all they’ve done is collect dust and put a hole in my pocket. So I decided maybe I should read them and actually implement their teachings into my daily life. They’re the experts on how to live your best life right? Hey, It’s worth a shot.
Book#1: You are a Badass How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are” – Kurt Cobain
Jen Sincero took me on a journey of self-discovery in one of the most honest and straightforward narratives I have read to date. Along with teachings focused on changing your self-image and the way you treat yourself, she also gives step-by-step instructions on how to implement these changes in your life. For those of you, like me, who barely have time to brush your teeth, let alone read a book, here are a few takeaways that may help guide you on your path to personal awesomeness:
1. Appreciate how special you are and “DO NOT WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME GIVING ONE SINGLE CRAP ABOUT WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS OF YOU!”
2. Drown yourself in affirmations
3. Change out the negative verbs you use to describe yourself i.e. instead of saying “God, I’m fat” (I said that this afternoon, oops!) say “Hey gorgeous!”
4. Make time for and do the things you love
5. Take care of and love your body physically
6. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are more than enough
7. Forgive yourself (and others)
8. Love yourself- which is how every chapter ends
Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘OK Laura that’s great and all but have YOU done these steps? Well, haters, yes I have (pats self on back). Was it easy? HELL NO! Some lessons stuck with me and others didn’t, but what’s that saying, anything worth doing is usually difficult. These are the ones that stuck.
The first task I gave myself was the easiest one, daily affirmations. Now, I’m not good at looking in the mirror and saying to myself, ‘I am happy, healthy, and wise’ cause currently it’s not true, but I know that it does work for a lot of people. I do, however, love me a good quote. So that’s where I started. I took quotes from the internet, quotes from the book itself, wrote them on post-its and put them all over my bathroom, even next to my toilet (I know TMI sorry, but it’s true), and I read them every morning when I had time to brush my teeth (JK) and getting ready for bed at night. I will say I did leave my house, however short-lived (nature of the beast), feeling more determined to start my day off better than the day before.
Sincero, asks, “When was the last time you were like, ‘Fuck Yea’ about your life?” For me, honestly, it was my senior year of high school. Thirteen years (yes now you know how old I am) is a long time to go without feeling that way and I don’t want another 13 years to go by still missing that spark in my life. I want to feel that I am shining brightly even if no one else sees it or cares. I want to be the person who sees the blessings in every breath.
Upgrade your environment, lesson number two urged the reader to make a vision board and surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think. For me, I took it literally, I cleaned my room. Now, you may not think is a huge deal for me, but you also haven’t seen my bedroom. Having a place for everything and everything in its place made the junk weighing me down, literally and figuratively, fall off of me and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a while. Physically, I gave myself a mani-pedi, (O’Keeffe’s Healthy feet cream is amazing by the way), began doing guided meditations through Spotify at night, and worked out for the first time in a while.
Did I drop the ball on some of these tasks? Yep sure did, but I forgave myself for falling off the wagon, which is something that previously I would have internally torn myself to shreds about. Every step, no matter how small, gets you closer to who you really are. Keep moving forward.
Sincerely yours,
LPJ